It looks like you're new here. If you want to get involved, click one of these buttons!
an accidental but powerful coalition of oprah viewers, spiritual-but-not-religious christians, people who think juice cures cancer, and ironic gay twitter users are going to propel marianne williamson into office and there's nothing we can do about it
OSAKA (The Borowitz Report)—Moments after watching the second night of Democratic Presidential debates, a reportedly shaken Donald J. Trump wrote a check to the campaign of former Vice-President Joe Biden.Trump took a break from the G-20 summit to watch the Thursday-night contest and emerged from the viewing “ashen and trembling,” one G-20 colleague said.Later, Trump was overheard trying to enlist Russian President Vladimir Putin to support the Biden 2020 effort.“Please, you’ve got to help Joe. He’s in trouble,” Trump pleaded with the Russian.“Stop being such a baby,” Putin reportedly snapped.
This ENTIRELY REAL NO KIDDING NOT DOING A BIT HERE Trump Survey is fucking BANANAS.
Then Sunday, the baby grand that's been in my family for nearly 100 years will be delivered to me. It will be a happy day.
I got an Access Forbiden page. What's that about?
You're wrong. Every home gets better when there's a bunch of guitars, books and records in them. I only have one piano, and I don't play it.