That 30 Rock reunion was almost painful to watch. Pretty much just a commercial for Peacock trying to hide behind a see-through curtain of meta-commentary.
Cut back a little more on my Clonazepam and was rewarded with a sleepless night. Just a tiny bit less and it keeps me up all night. And I was really sleepy when I went to bed. I think I finally conked out between 4:30 and 5:00 and woke up around 8:00. I’d planned to hop on the trampoline today, but I just don’t have it in me to do it. Again, benzo dependency is a major drag.
I’ll get through it. It just the first few days of scaling back that are the hardest. When I start back to work in a few weeks, I’ll definitely hold off scaling back more until Thanksgiving. Unless the start of classes is delayed. Then I’ll scale back more. I hope to be completely off this by the end of the year.
That really is quite disturbing and scary. The shit going down in Portland, OR is freaking me out a lot. Trump saying he doesn’t know if he’ll accept the election results and talking about mail in voting rigging the election freaks me out, too. What kinda country are we living in now that the president can say shit like that on a nationally televised broadcast without its citizens saying ‘fuck that’? Is half the country really ok with it? Is half the country really ok with unidentifiable armed federal agents in battle gear beating the shit out of protesters? I’m more disturbed than usual tonight, and I’m usually pretty disturbed.
And in my house, when I worry and say "Damn, is this guy going to refuse to leave office? Are we going to have to take to the streets and do this the hard way?" my wife is Romanian and she says, "Yeah, sometimes you have to do that."
It's worth noting though that the Romanian revolution worked because military service was compulsory. This meant the army was full of people of all political persuasions who could be appealed not to shoot at their family/friends and to resist orders from leaders who asked.
The US military is voluntary, famously conservative, and overwhelmingly pro-Trump.
Between Tilda being laid off, that job for me not working out, my current job sucking, the pandemic flaring back up again, the resulting return to isolation, the scary stuff happening with federal police, etc. I am really not in a great place today.
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Trump to send federal forces to more 'Democrat' cities
And in my house, when I worry and say "Damn, is this guy going to refuse to leave office? Are we going to have to take to the streets and do this the hard way?" my wife is Romanian and she says, "Yeah, sometimes you have to do that."
The US military is voluntary, famously conservative, and overwhelmingly pro-Trump.
Everything seems very shitty.